I’m in love

With these, among other things:

They’re called the Bologna, and they’re sold by British shop Duo. Here’s the kicker (as it were): Duo’s boots come in a variety of calf sizes. The question now is whether I can justify spending roughly $250 on them…

Do you know your store number?

There’s something about the start of a quarter that prompts toiletries to run out and a thousand unusual health needs to manifest themselves. Wednesday I woke up with a cold; this morning my deodorant fell to pieces; and let me mention discreetly that there have been certain other feminine needs asserting themselves this week also. Every quarter the reasons are different but the resulting and recurring trips to CVS are always the same.

The real danger in these trips is that they give one the opportunity to buy the things that one has been sort of wanting but wouldn’t probably make a trip for. For example: the pumice sitting here on my desk next to the kleenex and pseudo-fed (I always buy CVS brand).

I bring all this up for one reason only: the label on the back of this here pumice stone, which reads–

SECURITY LABEL. THIS ITEM INTENDED

FOR SALE AT CVS/PHARMACY

CVS

Store # 3901

1711 Sherman Avenue

IF FOUND AT OTHER OUTLETS CALL

1-866-439-8724

No joke. I’m completely stumped by the implications of this. Has CVS had a number of shipments go missing and turn up at Target? Are there rogue drugstores brazenly selling illicit CVS merchandise?

 My mind is particularly boggled by the fact that the address of my local CVS is included on the label. That seems to suggest some kind of internal spat among individual stores. Maybe store #3901 has been having trouble with those bastards at #2986 who keep holding back all the good stock for themselves. I’m really tempted to call that number except I doubt it will actually clear anything up.

This crieth out to heaven for some kind of dramatic reenactment

The BBC reports the following shocking story today:

Texas has told the European Union to mind its own business after the bloc called on the state’s governor to get rid of the death penalty.

Oh. My. God. This is the best story ever.

But Robert Black, a spokesman for the Texas governor, told the BBC News website: “Two hundred and thirty years ago, our forefathers fought a war to throw off the yoke of a European monarch and gain the freedom of self-determination.

“Texans long ago decided the death penalty is a just and appropriate punishment for the most horrible crimes committed against our citizens.

“While we respect our friends in Europe … Texans are doing just fine governing Texas.”

“We fought a goldarn war to get you people off our backs! Now, don’t y’all got some cheese to be makin’ ?”

Just look at this spokesman:

This man’s face could be a Live Journal icon for “Are you fucking kidding me? No, really, you’re serious?”

Oh Texas. I just can’t hate you.

Time for Fall

It’s that time of the season, when all the clothes seem old and done and nothing seems special anymore. Suddenly the coming season starts to look more enticing. The problem is only exacerbated by the fact that I love fall/winter layering and particularly the fabrics. Wool, tweed, corduroy, cable knit.

This picture is from the Bass corporate website (sadly they don’t have online shopping), and this is exactly how I picture myself on my best days. Back to school, yum.

Uncanny

Here’s a flat from Steve Madden, named “Pavement”, and priced at $70 (less 30% at the moment):

And here is “Candbury” by Chloé, originally 465 of the US dollars but down to $232.50 at Net-a-Porter:

I like this sort of thing because it’s very easy to take a Fred Mertz view of the runways: that high fashion is ridiculous and outrageously priced and irrelevant. And although I wouldn’t argue with the first two, the fact is that what is available for us more humble consumers to buy is very often influenced by the runways. Sometimes, it’s a little more than influence, but I won’t tell if you don’t.

Have mercy

I couldn’t sleep last night, due in part to an upset stomach, but aggravated and perpetuated by the fact that “Kung Foo Fighting” was stuck in my head.

Dear makers of ugly seersucker clothing,

Just make a flipping skirt, ok? Is that so hard?

It doesn’t have to be a sexual organ to say a lot about you

Imagine this: it’s summer, so you’re carrying a cute fabric tote to work. You set it on the apparently dry countertop while you wash your hands in the bathroom, but when you pick it up, there’s a huge wet splotch on the side. No harm done, but it’s going to be awkward carrying it back to your desk.

Do you carry it with the wet patch turned in, even though it might transfer to your shirt? Do you carry it turned outward, even though it’s kind of icky looking? Do you not care at all that your bag has gotten obviously wet?

I never liked those terrible “if you were a muffin” questions, but I think a worthwhile one is “when buying a handbag, what is one feature that will make or break your purchase?” I asked a high-ranking sorority woman this once and she said the most important thing was to be able to put papers in it without them getting crumpled — so, stiff sides and bigger than 8.5×11.

It’s gotta be at least as useful as knowing that she would be a pumpkin-cranberry muffin, or a coffee maker, or a hockey stick.

My new favorite site

SomeECards.com: Dave Barry always does right by me.

Why was I not informed?!

I’m not really shopping for shoes right now, since I just bought two lovely pair of Indigo sandals yesterday. However, I bought those shoes at an Allen-Edmonds tent sale, which got me thinking about dress shoes (I love really classic men’s business wear). Also, apparently today was a Saturday Sale at Shoes.com. All of the above having been noted, I am a little sad that these have sold out in my size:

Wouldn’t these be kind of fabulous with a skirt suit? Or no? I’m inclined to say yes, because their flatness (which normally I might not like) would prevent me from being six feet tall in the (hypothetical) workplace, and also facilitate efficient scurrying around. I think they’re gorgeous: a perfect quoting of old-school men’s style in a form that is just feminine enough without losing the business vibe.

It’s not surprising at all that I love this pair:

I love the canvas-and-leather thing. In fact, I own a pair from Etienne Aigner in exactly this color scheme, plus a 3 inch heel, a buckle, a peep toe, and a snobby attitude. Or how about this style’s unusual but rather charming green cousin–

Love, love, love. The flat heel is working for me yet again, the bit of fringe highlights that lovely shape, and I can never turn down a spectator.

Off to see if there are any loose pairs floating around the internet…