Dear makers of ugly seersucker clothing,

Just make a flipping skirt, ok? Is that so hard?

It doesn’t have to be a sexual organ to say a lot about you

Imagine this: it’s summer, so you’re carrying a cute fabric tote to work. You set it on the apparently dry countertop while you wash your hands in the bathroom, but when you pick it up, there’s a huge wet splotch on the side. No harm done, but it’s going to be awkward carrying it back to your desk.

Do you carry it with the wet patch turned in, even though it might transfer to your shirt? Do you carry it turned outward, even though it’s kind of icky looking? Do you not care at all that your bag has gotten obviously wet?

I never liked those terrible “if you were a muffin” questions, but I think a worthwhile one is “when buying a handbag, what is one feature that will make or break your purchase?” I asked a high-ranking sorority woman this once and she said the most important thing was to be able to put papers in it without them getting crumpled — so, stiff sides and bigger than 8.5×11.

It’s gotta be at least as useful as knowing that she would be a pumpkin-cranberry muffin, or a coffee maker, or a hockey stick.

My new favorite site

SomeECards.com: Dave Barry always does right by me.

Why was I not informed?!

I’m not really shopping for shoes right now, since I just bought two lovely pair of Indigo sandals yesterday. However, I bought those shoes at an Allen-Edmonds tent sale, which got me thinking about dress shoes (I love really classic men’s business wear). Also, apparently today was a Saturday Sale at Shoes.com. All of the above having been noted, I am a little sad that these have sold out in my size:

Wouldn’t these be kind of fabulous with a skirt suit? Or no? I’m inclined to say yes, because their flatness (which normally I might not like) would prevent me from being six feet tall in the (hypothetical) workplace, and also facilitate efficient scurrying around. I think they’re gorgeous: a perfect quoting of old-school men’s style in a form that is just feminine enough without losing the business vibe.

It’s not surprising at all that I love this pair:

I love the canvas-and-leather thing. In fact, I own a pair from Etienne Aigner in exactly this color scheme, plus a 3 inch heel, a buckle, a peep toe, and a snobby attitude. Or how about this style’s unusual but rather charming green cousin–

Love, love, love. The flat heel is working for me yet again, the bit of fringe highlights that lovely shape, and I can never turn down a spectator.

Off to see if there are any loose pairs floating around the internet…

All booktrucks on deck

More than the end of the quarter, it’s the end of exams. I worked the last late-late shift tonight, and the room was almost empty; about 10 when we closed at 2am, and last night it was more like 30. When I went to punch out I found myself passing through a room flooded with loaded booktrucks:

Usually there are only about five back here, and not nearly as motley a collection as these are. My contacts in Circ tell me that last night they ran out of trucks and had to just leave some books stacked up in bins. With courses and papers and theses finished, suddenly all those little hoards of books start to come home. Looking at these, I can imagine the stacks in carrels and offices and apartments; there are few things more evocative of the workings of a human mind than a collection of books. And now they all find their way back up to their places in the towers to wait for their next big break.

Very sentimental; so be it. It’s the end of the year, the start of the summer, the cusp of senior year and everything that comes after. It’s big. And while I’m sure it’s going to be wonderful and exciting, and I’m sure I’ll be able to handle all the concerns that come up, I still have to bring those books back, so to speak. I have to bring those books back, the ones that have been occupying large quantities of space, that have answered my questions and kept me company and infuriated me, and they have to go back where I might not be able to find them again. And if I do, it will be in a completely different context, since the previous project will be done.

Enough with the lame book metaphors. It’s nearly four and my stuff is emphatically not ready for checking out at 10am.

Further Ripley

Click on the “r for Ripley’s” tag if you don’t know what this is.

1. The Knights of Columbus own Yankee Stadium.
2. During the second century three sisters were martyred. Their names were Pistis, Elpis, and Agape, which in Greek mean Faith, Hope, and Charity.
3. Julian the Apostate wanted to disprove Christ’s prophecy that Jerusalem would not be rebuilt. When his workmen started construction, flames shot from the ground and halted the work.
4. Evangelista Torricelli, a Catholic, invented the barometer.
5. Pope John XXIII began his study for the priesthood at the age of 11.
6. Since the time of St. Peter, about 25 nationalities have been represented among the Popes.
7. Saint John Nepomucine is believed to be the first to have been martyred protecting the seal of the confessional. He refused to reveal to King Wenceslaus the confessional secrets of the queen. He was murdered by drowning, and, centuries later, when his remains were found, his tongue was still in living condition. We can recognize his portrait in religious art by the finger of silence, raised to his lips.

Number two has to be about the biggest non-fact I’ve come across yet. So a group of Christian girls had Christian names?! OMG!

The “Catholics do stuff” genre, represented here by fact number four, is kind of strange, don’t you think? I guess it’s like coming up with a list of celebrities who are from your hometown or something, but seriously. I don’t think I have ever thought about the guy who invented the barometer before. And he’s clearly Italian, so I tend to think of Catholicism being slightly less significant here. I don’t know.

And number seven provides further evidence that the boundaries of facthood are somewhat elastic. That feels like three full facts to me.

Now listening to

You’ll sit alone forever if you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I’m here, I’m now, I’m ready

I’ve started packing with the easiest stuff, the clothes. I seem to have acquired a lot of shoes since I moved in. And every time I look over at the mass of papers that used to be my desk, I get a dark foreboding feeling.

Yet more Ripley

Since I started posting these, my feed stats tracker has not hit zero. In fact, it’s been up to unheard of levels — 20! So a big thank you to all the bots out there reading this blog, since I’m pretty sure no real people do. My finals are done but I’m a little burned out (ha) so more facts for the time being, anyway.

1. There are 500 Catholic publications in the U.S. with 27,500,000 subscribers.
2. St. Peter the Apostle, the first Pope, was a married man. Only two other Popes in the history of the Church are known definitely to have been married, St. Hormesdas and Adrian II.
3. In Extreme Unction, all five senses are annoinnted [sic] because of the sins committed through them.
4. St. Matthew is represented by a human head in religious paintings because his gospel begins with Our Lord’s human ancestry.
5. St. John is represented as an eagle in religious art because his opening words in the gospel are so majestic they soar into the heavens.
6. Father Martin Grajales was the first American parish priest, having been assigned to St. Augustine’s parish, Florida, in 1565.
7. St. Catherine of Siena was the 25th child of her parents. During her life she was visited by the Blessed Mother and her Divine Son appearing together.
8. St. John-Mary Vianney, a Frenchman, is the patron saint of parish priests.

I continue to be amused by the variety of facts in this book. Number seven makes me wonder what constitutes a “fact”; surely this is two? Also: “Hormesdas”. That is all.

Dear J.Crew

I see that you have labeled this color on your website as “crisp orange”.

I think the term you’re looking for is “blaze orange”.

Love, Me.

Aw maaaaaan

An email I just got from the department secretary, in its entirety:

Good afternoon, Seniors
This is just a reminder that there will be wine served at the end-of-the-year reception (see notice emailed on May 31) and that you will be carded.

The caterer’s bartenders have the right to refuse service if proper ID is not presented.

Bummer!