Do you know your store number?

There’s something about the start of a quarter that prompts toiletries to run out and a thousand unusual health needs to manifest themselves. Wednesday I woke up with a cold; this morning my deodorant fell to pieces; and let me mention discreetly that there have been certain other feminine needs asserting themselves this week also. Every quarter the reasons are different but the resulting and recurring trips to CVS are always the same.

The real danger in these trips is that they give one the opportunity to buy the things that one has been sort of wanting but wouldn’t probably make a trip for. For example: the pumice sitting here on my desk next to the kleenex and pseudo-fed (I always buy CVS brand).

I bring all this up for one reason only: the label on the back of this here pumice stone, which reads–

SECURITY LABEL. THIS ITEM INTENDED

FOR SALE AT CVS/PHARMACY

CVS

Store # 3901

1711 Sherman Avenue

IF FOUND AT OTHER OUTLETS CALL

1-866-439-8724

No joke. I’m completely stumped by the implications of this. Has CVS had a number of shipments go missing and turn up at Target? Are there rogue drugstores brazenly selling illicit CVS merchandise?

 My mind is particularly boggled by the fact that the address of my local CVS is included on the label. That seems to suggest some kind of internal spat among individual stores. Maybe store #3901 has been having trouble with those bastards at #2986 who keep holding back all the good stock for themselves. I’m really tempted to call that number except I doubt it will actually clear anything up.

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