It doesn’t have to be a sexual organ to say a lot about you

Imagine this: it’s summer, so you’re carrying a cute fabric tote to work. You set it on the apparently dry countertop while you wash your hands in the bathroom, but when you pick it up, there’s a huge wet splotch on the side. No harm done, but it’s going to be awkward carrying it back to your desk.

Do you carry it with the wet patch turned in, even though it might transfer to your shirt? Do you carry it turned outward, even though it’s kind of icky looking? Do you not care at all that your bag has gotten obviously wet?

I never liked those terrible “if you were a muffin” questions, but I think a worthwhile one is “when buying a handbag, what is one feature that will make or break your purchase?” I asked a high-ranking sorority woman this once and she said the most important thing was to be able to put papers in it without them getting crumpled — so, stiff sides and bigger than 8.5×11.

It’s gotta be at least as useful as knowing that she would be a pumpkin-cranberry muffin, or a coffee maker, or a hockey stick.

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