The BBC reports the following shocking story today:
Texas has told the European Union to mind its own business after the bloc called on the state’s governor to get rid of the death penalty.
Oh. My. God. This is the best story ever.
But Robert Black, a spokesman for the Texas governor, told the BBC News website: “Two hundred and thirty years ago, our forefathers fought a war to throw off the yoke of a European monarch and gain the freedom of self-determination.
“Texans long ago decided the death penalty is a just and appropriate punishment for the most horrible crimes committed against our citizens.
“While we respect our friends in Europe … Texans are doing just fine governing Texas.”
“We fought a goldarn war to get you people off our backs! Now, don’t y’all got some cheese to be makin’ ?”
Just look at this spokesman:
This man’s face could be a Live Journal icon for “Are you fucking kidding me? No, really, you’re serious?”
Oh Texas. I just can’t hate you.