Do you know your store number?

There’s something about the start of a quarter that prompts toiletries to run out and a thousand unusual health needs to manifest themselves. Wednesday I woke up with a cold; this morning my deodorant fell to pieces; and let me mention discreetly that there have been certain other feminine needs asserting themselves this week also. [...]

All booktrucks on deck

More than the end of the quarter, it’s the end of exams. I worked the last late-late shift tonight, and the room was almost empty; about 10 when we closed at 2am, and last night it was more like 30. When I went to punch out I found myself passing through a room flooded with [...]

Aw maaaaaan

An email I just got from the department secretary, in its entirety:
Good afternoon, Seniors
This is just a reminder that there will be wine served at the end-of-the-year reception (see notice emailed on May 31) and that you will be carded.
The caterer’s bartenders have the right to refuse service if proper ID [...]

I hate to argue with an email newsletter, but…

I really have to disagree with you on this one, Sephora:

No. No, beauty products really are not the best Father’s Day gift, unless you’re buying a refill. And what do you want with making your father “look good”? Ew.

Tell the one about your computer’s built-in cup holder!

Wow. Mad props to the Tribune for giving the task of writing up “fast takes on Web news” to someone who apparently is woefully out of touch with the ol’ tubes. Click to read:

I mean, really. I feel like someone just walked up to me wearing neon parachute pants and suggested we order some ‘za [...]

This could be interesting

The University of Pittsburgh has some points to take into consideration when choosing a roommate:
Will the apartment be the place where you want to study or party or both? What are the prospective roommate’s habits? Does he or she smoke? (Do you?) What about alcohol or drug use? What about musical tastes? Does reggae or [...]

Why I am a History major, and not studying English Lit

Want to read something utterly fascinating? Let me recommend to you Bab: A Sub-Deb, a title described by James Lileks as “sound[ing] like a novel written entirely in the voice of someone with a head cold”. The premise is that Barbara (“Bab”), a 17-year-old itching for her debut, has written essays and diary entries about [...]

We each of us have our own burden to carry

I was walking into the building this afternoon, when I noticed a girl coming in behind me grasping a 24-pack of Diet Coke. She was fairly petite, so this was a substantial load. I held the door for her. “Thanks!!” she squeaked.
“No problem,” I say.
“This is so lucky! I didn’t know how I was going [...]

Emphasis

There really is no more appropriate place to park your beer truck than under the “Welcome Alumni!” banner.

“No! No! One at a time!”

I just got an email from MonsterTrak which contained this image:

My first thought was “Gaah!” This is kind of an obnoxious and startling photo to find on opening an email.
My second thought was, “That looks oddly like Professor X.” Only he doesn’t usually stare up into space in such a stricken fashion.
Well, except for when [...]